Hey Nerds,
Friday has arrived and I've decided to celebrate by wearing the same hoodie I've worn all week because laundry is a social construct and I reject society's cleanliness propaganda. It's not dirty, it's "lived in." Like a vintage couch. Or my soul.
IN THIS ISSUE:
Jim Carrey might be George Jetson
Netflix renews Splinter Cell after ONE DAY
HBO will show Voldemort murdering babies
...and more
JIM CARREY IN TALKS TO PLAY GEORGE JETSON IN LIVE-ACTION NIGHTMARE
Jim Carrey is in discussions to star in Warner Bros.' live-action The Jetsons movie, directed by Colin Trevorrow (Jurassic World Dominion). This marks the first live-action feature version of the 1962 Hanna-Barbera animated series.
The same guy who talked out of his butt in Ace Ventura is now going to ride a treadmill in the sky. I had a treadmill once. Used it twice. Now it holds laundry. Much like how my expectations for this movie will hold disappointment.
NETFLIX RENEWED SPLINTER CELL AFTER ONE DAY BECAUSE ALGORITHMS
Netflix renewed Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell: Deathwatch for Season 2 just one day after its October 14, 2025 premiere. The animated series features Liev Schreiber as Sam Fisher and hit #10 on Netflix's Daily Top 10.
Number ten? Not one. Not five. TEN. That's like getting a participation trophy and your parents buying you a car. I came in tenth place at a spelling bee once. You know what I got? A certificate that said "participant" in Comic Sans. COMIC SANS!
KATE MCKINNON JOINS PERCY JACKSON AS THE GODDESS OF LOVE
Kate McKinnon has joined Percy Jackson and the Olympians Season 3 as Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love and beauty. The character can alter her appearance depending on the beholder. Season 3 is currently filming in Vancouver with no release date.
So, like a Instagram filter but for mythology. I tried using filters once. Made me look like a potato. Not a cute potato. Just... potato. I deleted the app. Then reinstalled it. Then deleted it again. It's complicated.
STAR TREK WILL FINALLY EXPLAIN WHERE SISKO WENT 26 YEARS LATER
Star Trek: Starfleet Academy, premiering January 15, 2026 on Paramount+, will address what happened to Captain Benjamin Sisko after he disappeared at the end of Deep Space Nine in 1999.
Like when your dad goes to get cigarettes but it's a space dad and the cigarettes are cosmic enlightenment. My dad actually did go get cigarettes once. Came back though. With the wrong brand. We don't talk about it.
SPEED ROUND OF THINGS THAT HAPPENED WHILE I STARED AT THE WALL
The Mandalorian and Grogu movie won't have Elia Kane because they condensed Season 4 into a film and cut everything interesting. Jeremy Allen White voices Jabba's son though.
The Boys: Diabolical cancelled despite 97% on Rotten Tomatoes. Not enough people watched. Quality doesn't matter, only numbers. Like my dating life.
Channing Tatum's Gambit getting accent reduction surgery for Avengers: Doomsday. Studios can't understand Cajun. Also Tatum hurt himself and needs physical therapy. We all need therapy.
HBO's Harry Potter remake filming Voldemort killing Harry's parents. Something the movies never showed. More dead parents. Great.
Predator: Badlands clip shows alien fighting evil vines.
CALENDAR
October 14, 2025 - Splinter Cell already renewed
November 7, 2025 - Predator vs Plants
January 15, 2026 - Star Trek explains 1999
May 22, 2026 - Mandalorian movie missing characters
2027 - Harry Potter shows more dead parents
Eventually - Live-action Jetsons ruins childhoods
Got feelings about any of this?
Throw money at me via the coffee button below. Not because I deserve it, but because capitalism has trained us to express emotions through microtransactions and I need to eat something other than BBQ Pringles at 2am.
-Zak
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