Hemsworth's Hostile Takeover + Batman's Emotional Support Group

Tuesday has arrived like an Amazon package you forgot you drunk-ordered. Except you can't return Tuesday. Believe me, I've tried. I checked the return policy. It just says "suffer."

IN THIS ISSUE:

Netflix dropped footage of Liam Hemsworth as Geralt for The Witcher Season 4 premiering October 30.

The first footage shows him using Aard to blast a wraith backwards, then Yrden to trap it. Everything technically Witcher-ing. But it's like ordering Coke and getting Pepsi—yeah it's brown and fizzy but we both know this isn't what we wanted.

Now we've got discount Hemsworth doing the job and Laurence Fishburne joins as Regis, a barber-surgeon with a mysterious past. Because when I think medieval fantasy, I think Morpheus cutting hair and prescribing leeches.

The worst part? Netflix knows I'll watch anyway. They could cast a broom with googly eyes and I'd still tune in.

Freya Allan's Ciri got a new haircut though. That's the big character development. Hair. Changed.

Holy s*** they actually did it. At some marketing expo in Shanghai, they revealed Downey Jr.'s Doom suit and it's... it's beautiful. I'm crying. Not like metaphorically crying. I mean I literally just teared up looking at chainmail on a 59-year-old man.

The silver and green color scheme is straight from the comics. The mask makes him look properly terrifying. Not like that 2015 Fantastic Four abomination where Doom looked like someone microwaved aluminum foil and called it character design.

They also showed a light show where Doom apparently kills Thanos, which is such a power move that I forgave Marvel for everything. Even that weird period where they tried to make Inhumans happen.

Matt Reeves says Bruce Wayne is struggling in The Batman Part 2 because being Batman is "very hard."

The billionaire with infinite resources and a butler finds his voluntary night job difficult. Welcome to the club, Bruce. We meet Thursdays. Bring your own tissues. October 2, 2026 release for more sad Batman content because apparently we needed darker than "parents murdered in alley."

Demon Slayer: Infinity Castle opened to $70 million, doubling Pokemon's 1999 record because anime inflation is real.

It's a trilogy now. Part 2 in 2027. Part 3 in 2029. They're stretching this arc like my last clean shirt before laundry day.

2029 though. That's optimistic. Assuming we make it. Assuming anything matters. Assuming I finally do my laundry.

Disney revealed at their Shanghai thing that Grogu is "the Force's heir in the galaxy."

This was supposed to be Season 4 of The Mandalorian but Disney wants box office money not streaming numbers so now it's a movie. May 22, 2026.

Pedro Pascal under a helmet carrying a puppet while Sigourney Weaver... exists? Jeremy Allen White is there too because why not throw the Bear guy into Star Wars. Everyone's in Star Wars now. I'm probably in Star Wars. Check the background. I'm the sad one.