HULK HOGAN DEAD + Ice Cube's Alien Invasion

So my therapist says I need to "practice vulnerability" which sounds like something you'd read on a motivational poster in a dentist's office. But fine. Here's some vulnerability: I ate string cheese horizontally yesterday.

Just bit into it like a psychopath.

Didn't even peel it.

My roommate saw me do it and I'm pretty sure he's looking for a new place now. That's fair. I'd move too if I witnessed that level of dairy deviancy. Anyway, here's what's melting brains in genre news while I spiral about my dairy crimes.

IN THIS ISSUE:

Look, I wasn't ready for this.

Nobody was ready for this.

Hulk Hogan dying feels like finding out mountains can just decide to stop being mountains. According to EW, Terry Bollea died from cardiac arrest at his Florida home yesterday. Clearwater, Florida.

The man who taught an entire generation that vitamins and prayers could solve everything (spoiler: they cannot, trust me, I've tried) was 71.

SEVENTY-ONE.

The man headlined WrestleMania EIGHT TIMES. Eight! That's more times than I've successfully kept a succulent alive.

Remember "Hogan Knows Best"? I watched exactly one episode in 2006 while eating cereal for dinner (Fruity Pebbles, if you must know) and his daughter was trying to become a pop star and I still wake up sometimes hearing her single.

It's like psychological warfare but with auto-tune.

The man ripped his shirt off at the RNC last year. AT SEVENTY. Revealed a Trump tank top underneath because of course he did.

Survived by his third wife Sky Daily and kids Nick and Brooke.

Brother, the golden era of wrestling just lost its shiniest star.

Kevin Feige just told ComicBook.com that Marvel's planning through 2032.

Which is both reassuring and terrifying.

Here's what's happening after Fantastic Four: First Steps drops:

Spider-Man: Brand New Day (July 31, 2026) - Tom Holland returns. Jon Bernthal's Punisher shows up. They're calling it "grounded" which in Marvel terms probably means he only fights one god instead of three.

Avengers: Doomsday (Dec 18, 2026) - Chris Hemsworth's Thor is the "second lead." Robert Downey Jr. is Doctor Doom now.

The cast list has 27 CONFIRMED CHARACTERS.

Including Ian McKellen as Magneto.

Wait, WHAT?

Avengers: Secret Wars (Dec 17, 2027) - This will "reset the MCU" which is code for "we painted ourselves into a corner with the multiverse and now we need a cosmic eraser."

Then there's Blade (still in development hell), Black Panther 3, and approximately 47 other projects that may or may not exist.

Marvel just said "f*** it" and moved Eyes of Wakanda from August 27 to August 1.

All four episodes at once.

Director Todd Harris has been sitting on this since before Endgame. The show follows different Wakandan heroes throughout history, starting in 1260 B.C. with a rogue Dora Milaje hunting some dude called The Lion.

Harris describes The Lion as "Colonel Kurtz meets Thulsa Doom."

I watched Apocalypse Now once in college while extremely hungover and all I remember is Marlon Brando being weird in the jungle.

Also there's an Iron Fist but NOT the Netflix one. Thank God.

The next Avatar has a prosthetic leg.

This is set post-apocalypse where everyone hates the Avatar because Korra broke everything. The new Avatar is like 9 years old, missing a leg, has a twin who ISN'T the Avatar.

Sounds like the world's most awkward family dinners.

Avatar has always been good at this. Toph was blind and could kick everyone's ass. Ming-Hua had no arms and fought with water tentacles.

But this is the AVATAR. The protagonist. With a visible disability.

Not as a plot device.

Just... existing.

I swear if they "fix" her leg with spirit magic I will riot. I will write strongly worded letters. I will eat an entire box of cookies in protest.

Comic Book reports The Legend of Vox Machina ends after Season 5.

It's a planned ending, not a cancellation.

Tell that to my abandonment issues.

The good news: The Mighty Nein animated series drops November 19. Which gives me four months to emotionally prepare by rewatching 500 hours of Critical Role streams.

That's normal, right?

Right?

Don't answer that.

Ice Cube stars in a "screenlife" War of the Worlds.

Drops July 30 on Prime Video.

Like Unfriended but with aliens. Ice Cube plays a Homeland Security analyst who discovers aliens through his computer screens.

Which is exactly how I'd discover an alien invasion because I haven't left my apartment in four days.

Take a look at the sequel below.

December 5, 2025.

The murder puppets have left the pizzeria. It's like finding out the sharks from Jaws learned to walk.

Wayne Knight is in it. Newman vs. robot bears! This is the content I crave.