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IN THIS ISSUE:
Highlander reboot about fighting for humanity's soul
The Flash director still doing Batman movie
Terminator Santa Claus comic exists because why the f**k not
...and more
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HIGHLANDER REBOOT SPANS CENTURIES BUT STILL JUST ONE MOVIE BECAUSE RESTRAINT EXISTS APPARENTLY
Henry Cavill's Highlander synopsis leaked and it's about Connor MacLeod fighting for "humanity's soul" across time and continents.
Humanity's soul? We sold that for faster WiFi and same-day delivery years ago. But sure, let's pretend it's still up for grabs. Check's already been cashed, guys.
Connor's guided by his mentor Ramírez and an archaeologist named Kate Bennett. Because nothing says "immortal sword fighting" like someone who brushes dirt off pottery for a living. "Hold on, let me carbon date this before you decapitate him!"
This is Chad Stahelski directing, the John Wick guy, so at least the fights will look good while we pretend the plot makes sense.
ANDY MUSCHIETTI STILL ATTACHED TO BATMAN MOVIE THAT'S DEFINITELY HAPPENING MAYBE EVENTUALLY
The guy who directed The Flash (remember that? no?) is still attached to direct The Brave and the Bold.
James Gunn says he's "having a hard time figuring out" Batman.
The character who's been figured out approximately 847 times since 1939. But sure, it's complicated. Rich guy, dead parents, punches crime. There, I figured it out. Where's my DC Studios job?
They're waiting for The Batman Part II to finish first because we can only handle one sad Batman at a time. This one will have Robin though: Damian Wayne.
PEACEMAKER'S MAGIC BOX MIGHT BE BRAINIAC'S WHICH MEANS NOTHING BUT SOUNDS IMPORTANT
James Gunn confirmed the Quantum Unfolding Chamber is "non-human technology" and now everyone thinks Brainiac made it.
This might set up Brainiac for Man of Tomorrow in 2027. Or it might not. Nobody knows. Not even Gunn. He's just posting on social media hoping we'll figure it out for him.
POLLY POCKET MOVIE GAINS MOMENTUM LIKE THAT'S A SENTENCE THAT SHOULD EXIST
Reese Witherspoon's company is co-developing a Polly Pocket movie with Lily Collins.
Lena Dunham was attached then left in July because even she has standards? Now we've got the Sweethearts writers. This is post-Barbie Hollywood where every piece of plastic from your childhood is getting a movie.
My sister had Polly Pockets. Spent more time looking for the pieces she lost than actually playing with them. Found one in my shoe once. Three years later. Different house. Polly Pockets transcend space and time. Maybe that's the movie? Interdimensional pocket dolls. I'd watch that. I hate myself for it, but I'd watch it.
EVENT HORIZON'S BLOOD ORGY FINALLY GETTING RELEASED IN COMIC FORM
The "too graphic for theaters" blood orgy scene from Event Horizon is being put in a prequel comic because we needed that apparently.
Issue #4 will have the scene that used amputees and adult film actors. Paul W.S. Anderson filmed it then immediately realized he'd gone too far and deleted it. But IDW Comics said "hold my beer" and drew it instead.
The comic follows Doctor Billy Weir's first journey on the hell ship.
BITS AND PIECES WHILE I QUESTION EVERYTHING
Wytches animated series still happening at Prime Video. Two years later. Still doing animatics. That's animation speak for "we drew some stick figures and hoped nobody would ask follow-up questions." Scott Snyder swears they're finishing Season 1 animatics which is like me swearing I'll start my diet on Monday. It's been two years of Mondays, Scott.
Silent Hill producer promises not all games will be like Silent Hill f. Different flavors of horror. Like ice cream but instead of chocolate and vanilla it's "fog monster" and "psychological trauma."
Terminator Santa comic. Robot Santa in the apocalypse. Humanity's on the naughty list. This is a real thing someone pitched and someone else approved and now it exists. T-800 going down chimneys. "Come with me if you want presents." Kill me.
CALENDAR
December 3, 2025 - Terminator Santa violates Christmas
2026 - Brave and the Bold (maybe)
2027 - Man of Tomorrow vs Brainiac (possibly)
Eventually - Highlander spans time
Never - Your childhood remains unmonetized
Not alive like "thriving" but alive like that succulent you forgot to water - technically existing, definitely struggling, somehow still here against all odds.
-Zak
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