Hey Nerds,
So I went to get coffee this morning and the barista asked me to spell my name. I said "Z-A-K" and she wrote "Jack" on the cup. JACK. With a J. Like my entire identity just got rewritten by someone who clearly peaked in kindergarten phonics. This is the same coffee shop where last week they gave me someone else's oat milk monstrosity when I ordered black coffee. BLACK COFFEE.
It's literally the absence of things. How do you mess that up?
But that's not why I'm spiraling. I'm spiraling because I found out my high school nemesis just sold a screenplay to Netflix and here I am, writing newsletters in my underwear at 2am on a Thursday. Not that you needed to know that. But now you do. We're all in this together, trapped in the knowledge that I'm currently wearing Batman boxers from 2012 that have more holes than plot points in a Michael Bay movie.
Anyway, here's what's melting the collective nerd brain today…
