Margot Robbie Goes GIANT & Hellraiser's Back (With Actual Pinhead)

So I tried to make coffee this morning and somehow ended up with what can only be described as caffeinated tar. Like, the spoon stood up in it. Just... vertical. Defying physics. Started me thinking about how I've been drinking increasingly stronger coffee since I was 15 and at this rate by 40 I'll just be chewing espresso beans like a feral raccoon. Anyway, here's your news.

ComicBook reports that we're finally getting a proper Hellraiser game called Hellraiser: Revival. Single-player survival horror. Doug Bradley returns as Pinhead for the first time in almost 20 years. Clive Barker's involved. My teenage goth phase just rose from the dead like a Hot Topic phoenix.

The game follows some guy named Aidan trying to rescue his girlfriend from hell dimensions, which... buddy, have you considered couples therapy instead? I've been in relationships that felt like hell dimensions and the solution was never "master dark powers and bargain with cenobites." It was "block their number and eat ice cream horizontally on the couch for three weeks."

They're selling collector's editions with actual puzzle boxes. ACTUAL. PUZZLE. BOXES. This is how horror movies start. This is literally the plot. But am I buying three? Yes. One for display, one to accidentally solve during a wine-fueled breakdown, and one to leave mysteriously on my ex's doorstep with no explanation.

SFF Gazette reports Tim Burton's maybe directing Attack of the 50 Foot Woman with Margot Robbie maybe starring. But Burton won't confirm anything because Hollywood hurt him before. He literally said he won't believe he's making a movie until he's physically on set. That's not a director, that's someone with attachment issues. Relatable.

Gillian Flynn's writing it, which means this giant woman will have psychological complexity and probably commit elegant murders. The original was about 1950s female rage, so modern female rage at 50 feet should be... chef's kiss. Just Margot Robbie stepping on her male coworker's house - the one who makes 30% more for the same job - while texting her group chat "he just explained my own presentation to me again." The gender pay gap is now a literal crater.

Burton worked on a Superman movie for a year that never happened. Now he approaches projects like a cat approaching a cucumber - suspicious, ready to bolt, probably hissing a little. Hollywood really did a number on this man. Join the club, Tim. We meet Thursdays. We don't actually meet, we just stare at our phones in the same room.

ComicBook reports Matt Shakman revealed the Russos were basically squatting on the Fantastic Four set. Watching scenes. Taking notes. Being weird about it. Like when your boss hovers while you work and you know they're judging your spreadsheet formatting.

They're doing this because Fantastic Four connects to Avengers: Doomsday. Because everything connects now. We can't just have nice standalone things. It's all homework. It's all required reading. Remember when movies just... ended? And then you went home? Those were simpler times.

Ralph Ineson (Galactus) worked with RDJ on Dolittle and wants to reunite for Doom vs Galactus action. We don't talk about Dolittle. That movie was what happens when you give Robert Downey Jr. too much creative control and not enough people saying "maybe don't?"

Here’s the first poster for Avatar: Fire and Ash with Oona Chaplin as Varang, leader of the Ash People. They've been through "incredible hardship." Haven't we all? I've been through the hardship of Avatar 2's runtime. Three hours of my life I'll never get back.

Cameron promises more "character depth" this time, which is what directors say when the last movie was pretty but emotionally vacant. Like my last three relationships. Or that succulent I bought thinking it would fix my life. (It died. They always die.)

The movie drops December 19, 2025, then Avatar 4 in 2029, then Avatar 5 in 2031. James Cameron has planned movies further into the future than I've planned literally anything. I don't even know what I'm having for dinner. Probably cereal. Again.

Peacemaker Season 2 comes with a companion podcast where Gunn explains what's canon. Because apparently we need supplementary materials to understand which reality we're watching. It's like needing footnotes for a text message. Which, honestly, some of my texts could use.

DCEU Peacemaker travels through a portal to become DCU Peacemaker. Portals. The answer is always portals. Can't solve continuity? Portal. Can't explain plot holes? Portal. Can't get out of a bad date? I wish. Portal.

The podcast promises to reveal "all the drama" behind the scenes. You know what has drama? My attempts to understand comic book continuity. I once spent four hours trying to figure out which Batman comics "count" and ended up crying into a wiki page. Good times.

Yahya Abdul-Mateen II says Wonder Man will have a "new kind of action." Sure. And I'm going to start exercising tomorrow. We all tell ourselves lies.

It's about an actor who gets superpowers, which is Hollywood looking in the mirror again and going "aren't we fascinating?" No. You're not. But Yahya seems genuinely excited and I refuse to let Marvel kill his joy. Yet.

The show is described as "a love letter to filmmaking." Everything's a love letter now. This is a love letter to pizza. See? Easy. Meaningless. But fine, I'll watch your meta actor show. December 2025. Mark your calendars or don't, time is an illusion anyway.

Collider reveals the prequel Blood of My Blood shows Claire's time-traveling parents were actually in 18th century Scotland the whole time. So she thought she was an orphan but her parents were just... temporally displaced. Near her. The whole time.

This is like finding out your dad didn't go to get cigarettes, he just time-traveled to the past and forgot how to get back. Which, honestly, would explain a lot about some people's fathers. Not mine. Mine just regular abandoned us. No time travel required.

The show drops August 8 on Starz. Get ready for more Scottish accents, time paradoxes, and people making terrible decisions in kilts. At least when I make terrible decisions, I'm wearing sweatpants like a normal person.

ComicBookMovie reports critics are actually... happy? With a Fantastic Four movie? In 2025? The reviews are calling it "the best Marvel movie in years" and "a breath of fresh air."

Third time's the charm, apparently. Only took three attempts, millions of dollars, and the collective therapy bills of everyone who sat through the previous versions. The trades are gushing. Empire called it the best Fantastic Four yet, which is like being the tallest person at a convention for very short people, but still.

Matt Shakman apparently made a movie that embraces being super, being heroes, and being a movie. Revolutionary concept. Making a superhero movie that doesn't apologize for being a superhero movie. What's next, romantic comedies that embrace romance? Horror movies that embrace horror? Madness.