Marvel Actors Throwing Hands + Spider-Man Gets the Full Sony Treatment

Wednesday, which is apparently derived from "Woden's Day" which sounds like something you'd make up when you're drunk. "What should we call this day?" "I dunno, WODEN?" "Gary, you're a genius." That's how I imagine all important decisions are made.

Speaking of important decisions, I chose to have leftover cake for breakfast. It had fruit on it. That's basically a health food. Don't @ me, I don't make the rules. Actually, I do. That's the rule now.

IN THIS ISSUE:

John Rocha reports that two major Avengers: Doomsday actors got into an actual fight on set in London because someone made a joke that crossed a line.

A JOKE.

These are adults making superhero movies for hundreds of millions of dollars and they're throwing hands over banter. Marvel offered to shoot their scenes separately which would cost more than my entire neighborhood but they eventually apologized like kids forced to shake hands after recess.

Nobody knows who it was but my money's on someone calling Benedict Cumberbatch "Benedryl Cucumberpatch" one too many times and he finally snapped. Probably Anthony Mackie. That man's been roasting Tom Holland for years without consequences and got cocky.

This is what happens when you put that many egos in spandex.

The Hollywood Reporter says Craig Mazin is the sole writer for The Last of Us Season 3 because Neil Druckmann went back to Naughty Dog.

Solo writing an entire prestige HBO season. I know how that feels. I write this newsletter alone at 2am eating stale cereal wondering where it all went wrong. Except Mazin gets HBO money and I get three Bluesky likes and a spam email about testosterone supplements.

Season 3 will be longer than Season 2, more like Season 1's length, which means more trauma. They killed Pedro and we're still watching. That's the power of mushroom zombies I guess.

He says he wants to work with Meryl Streep. In The Last of Us. Fighting cordyceps. Either she's playing someone's doomed grandmother or she's going full action hero with a flamethrower and honestly both options are cinema.

Mazin's also directing the first episode because apparently solo writing isn't enough torture. This man chose violence against himself.

HBO announced the Weasley family casting and they got actual twins Tristan and Gabriel Harland to play Fred and George.

Real twins. Playing twins. Revolutionary.

Ruari Spooner is Percy and Gracie Cochrane is Ginny and the show debuts in 2027 which means these kids will go through their entire awkward phase on camera. Imagine your teenage years but with a $200 million budget and millions of people watching you discover acne.

I went to high school with twins who insisted on dressing differently so people could tell them apart. One wore only band t-shirts, the other only polos. They looked like before and after photos for "How to Disappoint Your Parents."

These Harland twins better have more personality than matching DNA is alls I’m sayin.

Prime Video dropped the trailer for Fallout Season 2 at Gamescom and there's a DEATHCLAW.

A DEATHCLAW.

December 17 release. Nothing says Christmas like a mutant murder lizard that runs at 40mph and has knife hands.

Justin Theroux plays Robert House which is perfect because that man looks like he definitely owns Bitcoin but pronounces it wrong on purpose to seem quirky. He's got "I invented an app that's just Uber but for dogs" vibe.

The trailer shows Lucy and The Ghoul heading to Vegas together and Walton Goggins still continues to be hot despite having no nose which has broken something in my brain.

The Cosmic Circus reports Spider-Man: Brand New Day will have approximately seven hundred villains.

Okay not seven hundred but: Scorpion, Punisher, Hulk confirmed, plus maybe Tarantula, Boomerang, Ramrod, and Tombstone in the opening. Then for the wider trilogy: Kingpin, Venom (but maybe Mac Gargan not Eddie Brock because why not complicate everything), Hammerhead, and Prowler.

"Why so many villains?"

Because Marvel saw Spider-Man 3 and said "not enough villains, actually." The symbiote from No Way Home is apparently causing "friction between universes" which sounds like something my chiropractor would say before charging me $200.

July 31, 2026 release. It took three movies but Marvel finally gave Spider-Man back to Sony spiritually. Not legally, but spiritually. This is full Sony energy - just throw seventeen villains at the wall and see what sticks. We went from "carefully crafted MCU storytelling" to "f**k it, Boomerang's here now."

Tom Holland fought so hard to keep Spider-Man good and they're doing this to him. This is like watching your friend's successful intervention slowly fail. "He was doing so well but then he started hanging out with Morbius again."

Prime Video announced Gen V Season 2 premieres September 17, 2025 with three episodes then weekly releases.

They're not recasting Andre after Chance Perdomo's death which is respectful but also means they have to explain where a main character went. Hamish Linklater is the new dean at Super Murder University or whatever it's called.

The season picks up after The Boys Season 4 which means everyone's probably traumatized and covered in some kind of bodily fluid. Standard Boys universe stuff.

Rick Riordan announced the third Percy Jackson Senior Year book won't come out in 2025 because he's "too busy."

Too busy. The guy who writes like he's being chased by deadlines says he's too busy. He's working on the TV show and something called "The Court of the Dead" which sounds cheerful.

The first two books came out in 2023 and 2024 but 2025? Nope. Must be nice being "too busy" with multiple creative projects. I'm too busy deciding whether to pay the electric bill or the water bill this month. He's juggling TV shows and I'm juggling which streaming service to cancel so I can afford groceries.

Both of these feel like fever dreams but they're real and happening.