Millionaires Buying Plastic Swords + Superman Gets Another Tomorrow

Woke up this morning and my first thought was "no." Just no. To everything. To Monday, to consciousness, to the 14 emails I can see on my phone but refuse to open. My coffee maker made a new noise today - sort of a grinding wheeze. Fixed it by hitting it with a spatula. This also works for most of my problems.

Not all of them.

But most.

IN THIS ISSUE:

James Gunn announced "Man of Tomorrow" for July 9, 2027. The first Superman movie came out this summer and we're already doing this.

Man of Tomorrow. That's the title. Like naming your kid "Human of Eventually."

You can see below, Jim Lee drew Lex in a purple and green mech suit for the announcement. Corenswet barely finished press tours and we're announcing part two. The studio's that confident. Or contractually obligated. Same thing really.

Darth Vader's lightsaber from Empire and Jedi sold for $3,654,000 at auction.

That's more than most people's houses. That's more than ALL my houses because I have zero houses. Someone looked at a plastic tube with lights and said "yes, this is worth more than generational wealth."

Propstore says it's the only "hero lightsaber with verifiable screen use" which is auction speak for "we promise Mark Hamill touched this once."

You know what I'd do with $3.6 million? Not buy a lightsaber. I'd buy regular sabers. Like, so many regular sabers. Fill a room with them. Start a saber museum.

Amazon Prime Video greenlit a Life is Strange series with Charlie Covell running it and Margot Robbie producing because apparently we need our emotional trauma in live-action now.

For those who haven't played: it's about time-traveling teenage trauma. Like regular teenage trauma but with more consequences and butterflies. The butterfly effect. Get it? They literally use butterflies as symbolism. Subtle as a brick through a window.

I played the first game and cried into a bag of chips at 3am. The chips got soggy. I ate them anyway. That's the Life is Strange experience.

Serkis told Variety he's heading to New Zealand September 6 to start prepping The Hunt for Gollum which got delayed to December 2027.

He's directing AND playing Gollum. The story's set between Fellowship and Two Towers which is Producer speak for "we found a gap to shove content into."

Imagine being Andy Serkis. Your career highlight is pretending to be a wet creature obsessed with jewelry. And you're so good at it they keep asking you back. Twenty years later. "Hey Andy, want to be Gollum again?"

Legend behavior or Stockholm syndrome? Yes.

October 16, 2026 Paramount releases Street Fighter with Jason Momoa as Blanka and 50 Cent as Balrog.

Set in 1993 for some reason. Andrew Koji and Noah Centineo play Ryu and Ken who are "estranged" which is movie speak for "they'll hug in act three." Momoa playing a green electric monster feels right somehow. Like when you see a dog wearing glasses—shouldn't work but here we are.

Curtis Jackson playing a boxer named Balrog is... I don't know what it is. It just is. We're doing this. Again. Third time's the charm or third strike you're out?

Ruffalo told Variety he's "still waiting to hear" about Spider-Man: Brand New Day. No script. No deal. July 31, 2026 release date though.

This is like planning a wedding before proposing. Cart before horse. Hulk before script. Marvel's just assuming everyone will show up and honestly? They're probably right. Ruffalo will get a script three days before filming and still nail it because that's apparently how movies work now.