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Hey Nerds,

Today's sponsor is Mood Gummies, which sells "100% legal cannabis" including THCa and Delta-9 gummies.

Finally, a sponsor that understands my lifestyle choices. Look, I actually endorse this one because at least they're transparent about what they're selling: a way to forget Marvel's development hell disasters.

But I still need you to click the link because this job lets me work pantsless and I'd like to keep it that way. Click = I stay employed = society doesn't have to see me in real pants.

IN THIS ISSUE:

  • Pennywise returns because

  • Christian Bale plays Frankenstein

  • Death Stranding anime about sucking things through face tentacles

    ...and more

For years, buying cannabis meant taking a trip to a dispensary, dealing with long lines, limited selection, and inconsistent pricing. But thanks to changing laws and innovative online retailers, buying high-quality THC products is now 100% federally legal—and more convenient than ever.

And when it comes to quality and reliability, Mood is leading the way…

Because they’ve completely flipped the script on cannabis shopping. Instead of memorizing hundreds of confusing strain names – like “Gorilla Glue” and "Purple Monkey Breath" – you simply choose how you want to feel: Creative, Social, Focused, Relaxed, Happy, Aroused, and more.

Each gummy is formulated with the perfect blend of Delta-9 THC and botanicals to deliver the perfect mood.

Want a great night’s sleep? Try the Sleepytime gummies. Need laser focus Mind Magic gummies have you covered. Hotter sex? Try the Sexual Euphoria gummies.

It's cannabis shopping that actually makes sense for “normal” people.

HBO DROPS IT: WELCOME TO DERRY TRAILER AND PENNYWISE LOOKS HUNGRY

HBO Max just released the first trailer for IT: Welcome to Derry premiering October 26, 2025.

The trailer's giving us 1962 Derry in all its doomed small-town glory. Twenty-seven years before the Losers Club, so these are the kids who DIDN'T make it. The expendable backstory children.

Taylour Paige, Jovan Adepo, Chris Chalk, James Remar, and Madeleine Stowe all lined up to get psychologically destroyed in period-appropriate clothing.

THE BRIDE TRAILER DROPS AND CHRISTIAN BALE LOOKS ABSOLUTELY UNHINGED

Warner Bros just unleashed the first trailer for The Bride hitting theaters March 6, 2026.

The trailer gives us 1930s Chicago gothic nightmare fuel. Bale's monster asking Dr. Euphronius to build him a wife, and they resurrect Jessie Buckley as a murdered woman because consent wasn't invented yet apparently. The footage shows violent romance, police chases, and what they're calling "radical social change" which is code for "everyone dies badly."

DEATH STRANDING ANIME TRAILER DROPS AND YES, THERE ARE FACE TENTACLES

Kojima Productions just released the first teaser for Death Stranding: Mosquito during their 10th anniversary stream and it's exactly as incomprehensible as we hoped.

"Mosquito" because the protagonist sucks things through his "slimy apparatus" - their words, not mine. Not blood though. Something else.

They're doing traditional hand-drawn animation which means some poor artist is spending months drawing individual frames of face tentacles. Frame by frame. By hand. This is someone's job.

No Norman Reedus walking. No babies in jars. Just aquatic appendage with combat. Evolution? Devolution? I genuinely can't tell anymore.

DOCTOR WHO SPINOFF ABOUT SEA PEOPLE BECAUSE WHY NOT

The War Between the Land and the Sea arrives 2026 with Russell Tovey and Gugu Mbatha-Raw fighting ocean people.

Ancient species emerge from the ocean. UNIT steps in. Land fights sea. This is literally Aquaman but British and depressing. Tovey says it has an "indie vibe" which means low budget but they'll call it "atmospheric."

WEAPONS VILLAIN AUNT GLADYS GETS ORIGIN STORY BECAUSE EVIL NEEDS BACKSTORY

Zach Cregger confirmed he's making a prequel about Aunt Gladys from Weapons.

"It's not bullshit" he says, which is exactly what someone making bullshit would say. But Weapons made $260 million so here we are. Prequeling aunt Gladys.

He was thinking about this BEFORE the movie succeeded. Just sitting around imagining Aunt Gladys backstory. While I can't even imagine having health insurance. Different priorities I guess.

SPEED RUN THROUGH THE REMAINING NONSENSE

  • One Piece Season 2 shows Loguetown with a "very tall" execution platform. They built a whole practical set. In the age of CGI. Respect, but also, why?

  • R.L. Stine's Pumpkinhead hits Tubi October 17. Not Goosebumps. Different. About a kid whose brother disappears and nobody remembers him. That's just called graduating high school.

  • Melissa McCarthy playing dual roles in Miss Nelson Is Missing. She's the nice teacher AND the mean substitute. Range!

  • House of the Dragon Season 3 might have identity swaps and fake Targaryens. They're adding a "conceptual episode" which is HBO for "we're out of ideas but have dragon money."

CALENDAR

  • October 17, 2025 - Pumpkinhead on Tubi (free trauma!)

  • October 26, 2025 - IT prequel ruins sleep

  • March 6, 2026 - Mother fucking bride arrives

  • 2026 - Doctor Who fights the ocean

  • 2026 - One Piece does pirate things

  • Summer 2026 - Dragons get conceptual

  • Eventually - Death Stranding tentacles onto screens

-Zak

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