Rainbow Time Travel + Virgin Murder Cults

Monday again. The day that shows up like that friend who "just needs to crash for one night" and then stays for a week eating all your good snacks.

Spent the weekend trying to fix my sleep schedule, which went about as well as my attempt to learn the ukulele during lockdown. The ukulele's now holding up a wobbly table leg. My sleep schedule's holding up nothing.

IN THIS ISSUE:

Neon dropped the trailer for "Arco" and it's... beautiful? Like actually beautiful?

A 10-year-old from the year 2932 accidentally time travels via rainbow to 2075 where climate change has f**ked everything. Will Ferrell, America Ferrera, Flea from Red Hot Chili Peppers, Natalie Portman, Mark Ruffalo, and Andy Samberg are all doing voices which is the most random collection of humans since my college roommate assignments.

November 14, 2025 U.S. release after winning awards at Annecy which is the Cannes of animation if Cannes was specifically about cartoons and French people being impressed.

The animation looks like Studio Ghibli had a baby with Moebius which is a sentence that makes sense if you're a nerd and sounds like a medical condition if you're not.

Bleecker Street bought "Victorian Psycho" starring Maika Monroe who was just in Longlegs being terrorized by Nicolas Cage's serial killer vibe.

Now she's playing an "eccentric governess" at a gothic manor in Victorian England which is code for "she's definitely murdering everyone." Jason Isaacs and Thomasin McKenzie co-star, filming in Ireland right now because where else would you film gothic horror?

2026 release. It's based on a book by Virginia Feito who also wrote the screenplay which either means it'll be perfectly faithful or completely unhinged. No middle ground when authors adapt their own work.

I guess this is Maika Monroe's thing now. Just constant psychological horror. Like how Liam Neeson almost only does "my family is kidnapped" movies but with more Victorian dresses and probably poison.

Director Ani Kyd Wolf looked at her casting budget and said "what if we just... use everyone twice?"

"Spawn of the Living Dead" and "Organism 46-B: The Unseen" both star Casper Van Dien, Bill Moseley, Michael Berryman, Kane Hodder, and Trina Parks. One's about zombies, the other's about Antarctic shape-shifters. Same people. Different monsters. It's like when I wear the same outfit two days in a row but flip my shirt inside out and hope nobody notices.

Now these actors can just stay in Vancouver, shoot both movies back-to-back, and collect two paychecks without changing hotels. That's the kind of efficiency my dad shows when he combines errands. "While we're out, might as well stop at Home Depot, the bank, your grandmother's grave, and film another horror movie."

The Antarctic one is basically The Thing but they're calling it something else and hoping John Carpenter is too busy playing video games to notice. Scientists trapped under ice with a shape-shifting predator that can control minds. That's The Thing. That's literally just The Thing. That's like if I rewrote Star Wars but called it "Space Battles" and made the Force "The Energy." Actually, hold on don’t steal that; I’m writing that as soon as I finish this Issue.

Early 2026 filming at Lumostage Studios which definitely sounds fake. Like something you'd make up when lying about where you work. "Oh yeah, I'm shooting at... Lumostage. It's very exclusive. You wouldn't know it."

Disney+ announced Dafne Keen is Artemis in Percy Jackson Season 3.

Artemis. The virgin goddess who turns men into animals when they annoy her. The one who's perpetually 12 years old but also ancient and runs around with a pack of immortal teenage girls hunting monsters. That's the character. That's what Disney+ is putting on television. Saara Chaudry plays Zoë Nightshade, one of said immortal teenage hunters, who probably has a tragic backstory involving betrayal and stars or whatever because this is Percy Jackson and everyone's traumatized.

Artemis in the books is basically "what if your most intimidating middle school teacher could also turn you into a jackalope" and they cast the girl who made Hugh Jackman ugly cry in Logan. So yeah, tracks.