Saw Returns from the Dead + Ewan McGregor's Homework Assignment

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Look, every click puts money in my pocket so I can keep writing these fever dreams instead of getting a real job. So click it. Please. My therapist says I need structure but this newsletter is all I've got.

These gutter guard people probably think they're saving civilization from wet leaves or whatever. I mean, Brad from HomeGutterGuard can't protect you from life's real debris - like that text from your ex at 2am - but sure, he'll keep the leaves out.

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IN THIS ISSUE:

Screen Rant reports James Wan is returning to Saw after twenty years since directing the original. Blumhouse grabbed the rights from Lionsgate.

The guy who started this torture porn empire in 2004 and then went on to make Aquaman money says he's "not taking this very lightly" and wants a "fresh start." This is like when I tried to restart my sourdough starter after killing it seventeen times. "This time will be different," I said, buying the exact same flour. It wasn't different. It died. Like everyone in Saw movies.

Wan mentioned he took a break for his "mental health." Coincidentally this comes after directing Aquaman 2 during the Amber Heard trial and then watching his billion-dollar franchise get Thanos-snapped from DCU existence. But I'm sure those things are totally unrelated.

Remember when directors just had cocaine problems? Now they have therapists. Progress!

Olivia Cooke told Screen Rant that House of the Dragon Season 3 is "actually ridiculous."

Twice. She said it twice. Like when I tell people I'm "fine" at family gatherings.

Wraps October, premieres 2026. Apparently it involves "huge stunt work" which means dragon deaths.

Even though Season 2 was slower than waiting for my neighbor to parallel park we’ll all still watch.

Because big lizards breathing fire activates the same brain cells as watching someone else's drama unfold on Facebook. We're simple creatures. I once watched a four-hour video of paint drying because the comments section was arguing about the shade. It was beige. They were all wrong.

At Fan Expo Canada, Ewan McGregor announced his homework is to "watch all of Clone Wars."

Now. In 2025. After playing Obi-Wan for two decades.

That's like being a chef who's never tasted their own food. Which actually happened at this restaurant I went to once. The chef was allergic to everything on the menu. EVERYTHING. He just... guessed? The restaurant closed. Not related but feels related.

People think this means an Obi-Wan Season 2. Or maybe he's just bored. Rich people get bored differently. We rewatch The Office. They catch up on 133 episodes of their own character development.

Comic Book interviewed Patrick Wilson who casually mentioned he's "never met" James Gunn.

Wilson says they "said what we needed to say" with Orm which is actor-speak for "I'm not coming back and I'm fine really I'm fine." Gunn confirmed Aquaman isn't canon anymore. Starting fresh means pretending Jason Momoa's fish man didn't make $1 billion.

Like when your mom gets remarried and suddenly Uncle Frank isn't in any family photos anymore. Where'd Frank go, Mom? WHERE'D HE GO?

Marco Beltrami confirmed on Instagram he's scoring Scream 7. The man who did 1-4 is back after sitting out 5 and 6 like a dad who skips the middle school years but shows up for graduation (what, your cigarettes brand was that hard to find DAD?!).

February 27, 2026 release with Neve Campbell returning after her salary dispute. Money talks, Ghostface stalks, and Brian Tyler (who scored 5 and 6) is somewhere wondering what he did wrong.

Nothing, Brian. You were the rebound composer.